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Friday Funnies: A Nod to TikTok

I know this is old news, but I've been totally stressing about it and need to bring the topic to the table. The deadline is approaching for a U.S. company to buy TikTok and if no deal is struck...I can't even say it. But I will. Cleansing breath. If nobody bites, the beloved social media app will be banned. How will we go on? No more skits and dances? What will my kids do?

Yeah, I really don't care. At all. The kids do. They're devastated. But they'll get over it. First world problems. I will miss the hilarious sketches they've been sending me though.

That's me! And this next one WILL be me in a few years. I can't wait!

And then there's all the new speaking styles. Have you ever heard anyone talk in cursive? Paige does it all the time and it makes me belly laugh. I tried to imitate her but she says I'm doing it wrong.

Weird stuff, huh? And then there's up-talking? Like when everything you say sounds like a question? And the pitch of your voice escalates toward the end of the sentence? It’s sounds like a sarcastic valley girl? Or David from Schitt’s Creek?

Based on recent behavior, I’m fairly certain Eleanor is destined to be an up-talker. she has become notably vain, a characteristic I believe goes hand in hand with chronic inflectors. Every chance she gets to look at her reflection, she stops what she’s doing to admire her image. She’ll catch site of herself when walking by a shiny car and seize the opportunity to start posing. She’ll set up her tablet in selfie view, engrossed for ages ages in perfecting her facial expressions and stances with an attitude. Ask her what she wants to be when she grows up and she’ll reply, “a model?” in a tone suggesting stupidity on your part, as if there couldn’t possibly be another option.

Note the crop top. She bought it with her own chore money on Amazon and it’s the only shirt she’ll wear now. If it’s in the wash she opts for the only satisfactory alternative - a bikini top. She says she likes to show her belly button. Meanwhile Cynthia refuses to expose her mid drift unless she’s swimming, deeming the new crop top trend inappropriate. Two peas in a pod. They could make some pretty good TikTok skits with their opposing views. But it seems that won’t be in the cards for their preteen years. Silver linings.

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