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Friday Funnies - Technology Edition

A few words about technology today. First, voice dictation can be hilarious, especially when kids make the attempt.

I can crack the codes, but these sure are great entertainment. One technology faux pas I'm really scared to make is clicking the wrong Facebook "feeling" emoji. Like if someone posts about a family member passing, a sad face emoji or even a heart is the expected protocol. But several (drink) times, I've come very close to releasing my finger at the wrong moment, thereby offering a laughing emoji instead. Not cool, Jill. Not cool.

You know what else isn't cool? Remote control cars. (Drink) Kindly do not purchase one for our children as a gift. And if you do, send several hundred batteries and some Valium because I'm telling you, these things are putting me right over the edge. The other day, Kaleb rounded up the twins and dug out the bin of remote control cars we've collected over the years. I strategically placed the bin in a dark corner of the basement closet, hoping everyone would forget about them and eventually outgrow them. I could then pass them along (drink) to a naive parent of a toddler who I don't particularly like and bid them farewell. But alas, they found them and of course, all the on/off switches were toggled into the "on" position and the batteries were drained.

So out came my big bin of batteries, the tiny screwdriver, and a few shots of Tequila. Changing batteries in kids' toys is aggravating enough, but anything with a remote compounds the situation because who knows if the dead batteries lie in the car or controller? Or both? And since batteries are somewhat expensive, I tediously replace just the car batteries, hoping that works. If not, the batteries on the remote get replaced. Assuming that works, I remove the new car batteries and put the old ones back in. If that works, I know it was the controller batteries that were the issue. But if that doesn't work, I can (drink) conclude that indeed, both sets were dead and I'm out 25 AA batteries. It's a laborious exercise, but I'd much rather spend money on expensive anti-wrinkle creams than freaking batteries if I can help it.

After about six hours, I had all the cars up and running and found myself playing a game of Frogger as I dodged them zipping all over the kitchen. Things were getting confusing too, because signals were getting crossed and one controller seemed to be associated with more (drink) than one car. I quickly instituted a basement or outside only car rule, at which point, they lost interest and abandoned the game leaving all the switches in the "on" position and a few cases of batteries in my Amazon cart. That was fun. (Drink)

It wouldn't be a Friday Funny without a few treasures, courtesy of the Kid Messenger app, which doesn't seem to be losing its appeal over time. Cynthia has been experimenting with different looks. Here, she's a sleazy looking man. A drug dealer or pimp, perhaps.

And here, she has aged several decades.

Finally, a video Abigail sent which (drink) truly captures my life. And probably many of yours too. As the oldest, she understands my meltdowns and sensitive soul that she is, tries to fuel me with humor to get me through. Since my throat is still sore from yelling today, her timing was impeccable. I needed a good laugh and she knew it.

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