Have you ever looked down and noticed that your finger is spewing blood everywhere and you have no idea what happened? Or wake up with a gargantuan bruise and only a vague recollection of a run (drink) in with the coffee table? And I'm not talking about after a big night of drinking. I mean, like normal, everyday life. I'm so preoccupied with tending to the kids' every need that I don't even notice when I've severed an appendage.
I don't have ADD, but I'm pretty sure I have a very good sense of what victims of the disease must go through. My version of ADD is not a result of chemical imbalance, though. It's purely circumstantial. Being constantly interrupted and pulled in multiple directions forces distraction thereby creating what I like to call "artificial ADD".
It's a discouraging diagnosis, especially for someone who is, under controllable circumstances, extremely organized. But kids, as we know, are not controllable. So I'll wake up in the morning (drink) with grandiose goals - today I will call Comcast and solve our WIFI issues once and for all. Today I will cut the kids' toenails. Today I will make a peach cobbler out of all those peaches the kids said they would eat but didn't. And then none of it happens and at the end of the day, I can't figure out why. What on earth did I do all day? And all I can come up with is laundry, dishes, cooking, and answering the call for mo-om fifteen million times.
Up until a few months ago, I was not a stay-at-home mom. I'm quite happy with my new role. Except that the only accomplishment I feel I'm making is keeping the kids alive. Which is great, obviously. But (drink) will the WIFI ever get fixed? Are ingrown toenails fixable? Will I ever feel pain as it is happening again?
And the more I get interrupted, the meaner I get. "Moooom!!!" "Whaaat?" I find myself growling through (drink) clenched teeth. I can't help it. I just wanted to unload the dishwasher in one fell swoop. Is that too much to ask? Apparently.
Then there are days when I'm ticking things off my checklist like a maniac. But those days are few and far between. In the (drink) meantime, I think I have to lower my standards. The Comcast call will have to wait until they return to school. Until then, if I can shower and get dressed every day, I'll take it as a win.