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Hotel Meyer

Our house seems so quiet. We had friends stay with us for a week and they have six year old boy twins. Boys are louder than girls. Especially boys who have been quarantined in a small Brooklyn apartment (drink) for almost four months and are finally set free to bounce on the trampoline, swim in the pool, ride bikes, and run around a house and yard, the likes of which are a rare sight for city folk. A few things happened during their visit.

There was karaoke, fire pit parties, pool parties, pizza parties, and car washes. Also, there was a pretty major milestone. Cynthia got a boyfriend. Actually, it's her third boyfriend. But, from what I understand, there may have (drink) been a cheek peck although if I have the story straight, it was provoked by older siblings.

Also noteworthy: Kaleb ate a cherry. And didn’t spit it out. It’s amazing what other people can coerce your kids to do. He agreed to a haircut too - a daunting task I have avoided for weeks. Good thing, because my skill level falls way short of Joe's masterpiece.

They also got Abigail hooked on organic chips, all natural peanut butter, and protein bars. My grocery bill has tripled. So thanks for that Joe and Dina. On the plus side, we spent so much time in the kitchen, Abigail and Paige started to take an interest in food preparation. Today, Abigail made (drink) breakfast for herself and the twins and Paige made her own dinner. I'm thinking that's worth the price of admission to Hotel Meyer. (Drink)

It’s funny how at the beginning of an extended visit, you do things you wouldn’t normally do. Like provide utensils to your kids so as not to reveal that they eat spaghetti with their hands. Or admonish them for putting their elbows on the table - which is weird because they don't' usually even eat at the table. I also made more of a point to include fruits or veggies on their plates at every meal. But by the end of the visit, they were all slurping ice cream soup right (drink) from the bowl at 10 a.m. on the couch as the veggies shriveled in the fridge and the grown ups figured out how to incorporate them into our meals.

Another show I put on during the honeymoon period of their stay, was a high level of tolerance for nonsense. I pushed my patience to the limit, but couldn't sustain the performance. By about the fourth day, they witnessed a meltdown of epic proportions. It was 10:30 p.m. and Kaleb and the twins had taken (drink) shifts wandering downstairs with ridiculous excuses - a cold wash cloth for a sunburn, more ice in their water, one more kiss. Finally, I escorted them to bed, and thought I was doing a pretty good job of holding it together. I rubbed (drink) Kaleb's back and started my repertoire of good dreams. But then Eleanor complained that I wasn't giving her enough attention and without warning, I snapped. Like slammed the door shut so hard a picture fell off the wall, snapped.

If you're a snapper like me, you understand that embarrassment and (drink) regret immediately follow. This time, my embarrassment was amplified ten-fold. I skulked off to bed and didn't come out until the morning where I hid for a little longer than usual, not wanting to show my face. Thankfully, they understood exactly what happened. Turns out, they are snappers too. Later, we shared (drink) our tales of melt downs over my new favorite cocktail courtesy of Dina - the Zippy. (Two parts Jalapeno infused Tequila, one part lime, and a splash of seltzer. You're welcome.)

I was bound to melt down within the course of the week, I suppose. We run a pretty good hotel - we were innkeepers for sixteen years after all. But now that we're retired, we no longer maintain four-diamond standards. Hotel Meyer (drink) is the real deal - eating with hands, sporadic servings of fruits and vegetables, and yelling. Thinking of staying with us? Consider yourselves warned. I'm bracing myself for the Trip Advisor review.

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