Rainy days on the heels of gorgeous days are torture. And just as there was an obligation yesterday to spend as much time as possible outside, today brings the obligation to, for once, accomplish something. Even though I'm not working and my calendar is completely empty, my days are somehow, packed. I don't even know what I'm doing, exactly. I have every intention of tuning into kid yoga, or downloading an educational kid app to make myself feel better about all this screen time. But somehow, the day just gets away from me and my ambitious agenda is thwarted.
Is anyone else a little overwhelmed with all the activities for kids suddenly available? Everyone assumes I must be devoid of ways to entertain the kids - and I suppose I am. The problem is, I don't have the time to orchestrate the plethora of suggested activities out there. On top of the obvious laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning that occupies a (drink) good fraction of the day, there's the issue of kids needing individual "mommy" time. They're fighting over me as if they like me, or something. I'm not sure why. I feel like I yell quite frequently.
There's also the issue of kids having their own agenda. I'm not about to break up a game of "puppy" in order to (drink) conduct a family science experiment just so I feel (drink) like my kids accomplished something more productive than a PlayStation marathon. So my window of opportunity to introduce any of the workbooks, board games, (drink) scavenger hunts, and "optional" spring break projects is very narrow. This morning I realized that this is the last day of spring break and I hadn't even opened the email with helpful suggestions for maintaining the kids' brain cells during vacation. Teachers and administrators have put a lot of thought into these ideas and I failed to present them to the kids.
So I find myself six weeks into lock down feeling unaccomplished. I mean, I looked at Eleanor's toenails this morning and they were like claws. I can't even cut my kids' nails let alone sit everyone down to make our own snow globes. I try to remember all those words of wisdom directed at burned out moms on the brink of insanity. "Be kind to yourself," "lower your expectations," "whatever it takes to get through the day," "it's okay to feel overwhelmed." Whatever. We all still do it. (Drink) But when we do finally get around to those snow globes or cutting our kids' nails, boy does it feel good.