Kaleb just screamed across the house, "Cynthia!!! Your shoes are in the middle of the hallway!!!!" Um, dude, there's literally a trail of your socks and shorts and underwear strewn around the house. So....Pot? Kettle? Black? It's hilarious when one of the kids adopts a holier than thou attitude all of a sudden and throws every other kid under the bus for the exact infraction they (drink) committed earlier that very day. Did they mature in a matter of hours and suddenly gain an appreciation for our role as parents and decide to succumb to our requests to show some semblance of self sufficiency?
Recently, they proposed that we switch roles. James and I would do their schoolwork, and they would do all our jobs. Without hesitation, we jumped at the opportunity. We prepped them for the following day by outlining our meal requirements, and did a quick course in appliances 101. We could tell (drink) they were having second thoughts when I described exactly (drink) how I like my breakfast sandwich layered, the temperature at which it cooks, and that I like the cheese on top slightly browned, but not burned. They suggested a trial run that evening, just to prepare. So....
There was spilled juice...
Stolen juice...
Crumbs...
And technical difficulties...
Shortly after the trial run, they bailed. I was bummed. I wanted to see how well I would do at school and then sit on my ass and demand food all afternoon. I thought maybe the next day, they might show a little mercy, but they reverted back to their role as kids without missing a beat.
Kids will be kids, I suppose, but some things they do just baffle me (drink). Like when Kaleb used a dish towel this morning to clean Cynthia's spit out of his hair, for example. What. The. F. On so many levels.
And the teeth brushing. When Paige sent me this video, I nearly spit out my wine I laughed so hard. (Drink)
No joke...every single morning, I wipe down the bathroom Kaleb, Cynthia, and Eleanor share. There's toothpaste everywhere - blobs of blue and pink smeared across the counter, spit sprayed on the mirror, damp towels balled on the edge of the sink, toothbrushes and cups littering the surface despite the handy vessel specifically designed to contain these items conveniently located between the sinks. It’s like living with a herd of cows.
The odds are that with five children I will have at least a couple grandchildren and I await the day they come to me complaining about the very things I whine about on a daily basis. I‘ll offer advice knowing full well that nothing will work short of time and maturity. Or the rare moments when they try on the good kid hat for a few minutes for the sole purpose of getting their siblings in trouble.
For now though, I am stuck as a permanent complainer. What a gift it would be to walk in someone else’s shoes for a day. I was on the phone with a single friend the other day and she was saying how lonely and bored she was. She also made mention that on the plus side, her house was now very (drink) clean. I’m sure she would easily trade spots with me for a day and I would do the same. Solitude is something I crave and cleanliness (drink) is something I won’t experience for years. I literally fantasize about bleaching bathtubs and organizing cupboards alone for hours on end. The grass is always greener though isn’t it? Even kids claim (drink) they want to be adults, but they have no idea how good they have it. If only they appreciated it while it lasted. But that's life isn't it? Hindsight is 20/20.