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Let it Go

There are several things I can't get past. I know I've beat these subjects to death, but they're taking over my life and (drink) as time marches on, aggravating me more and more. Let's start with the sardines on my floor.

Why oh why do they do this? I'm tripping over kids. I have no more to say about the subject. Next - forts. They're everywhere (drink) and the design elements have escalated. There was a period of about five days during which James discreetly disassembled their little dwellings while they were outside and shockingly no one seemed to notice. But then, on a rainy day, it (drink) dawned on them, and they rebuilt with a vengeance. Negotiations were made as to who could build where. Trespassing rules were established. It was as if an actual colony was settling right here in my house. When they (drink) moved a dresser out of Kaleb's closet and replaced it with a pool float, I damn near threw them all out of the house to pitch tents in the backyard.

Which leads me to my third grievance. The constant chorus of 'mom?'s'. Ignoring them only fuels the fire. Why must they preface every question or request with my name? I mean title. Cynthia has taken it a step further and opens her dialogue with me like this: "Mom?" "Yes?" "Can I ask you a question?" "No." She still does. So what was the point there?

Finally, there's the eating. Constantly. (Drink) Grazing all day long and yet still being hungry for each meal. The chain reaction is the killer. One kid has a glass of lemonade and the rest will suddenly be dying of thirst. Someone takes a handful of Pringles....snacks all around!

Did you know that food does something online called 'Trending?' Abigail is the ring leader on trending food. First it was whipped coffee. Now it's smoothie bowls. Let's talk about that for a (drink) moment. First, in case you don't follow food trends, a smoothie bowl is like a smoothie, but uses very little liquid so unless you have a kick-ass blender and a lot of patience for perfecting the ratio of frozen fruit to liquid, don't bother trying. Miraculously, I got it (drink) right on my first try, and Abigail gave it her seal of approval. Since they're super healthy, I have allocated a fair share of patience to the smoothie bowl project. We've tried different recipes which varied in degree of success.

Now let's talk about blenders. I have a Ninja which does a fairly decent job in terms of blending, but the lid has broken on two different machines I've owned. You can still use it, but it's a pain in the ass to remove the lid and when you make a smoothie bowl, you have to periodically (drink) scrape down the sides which requires lid removal. This may not sound like a big deal, but when you're making three batches of smoothie bowls a day, the portion of patience required just for this one project is disproportionate to the patience required for the forts, sardines, and mommy's. So something had to be done. I researched ad nauseum and concluded that a Vitamix was the obvious choice. However, shelling out a few hundred dollars for a blender seemed a little saucy. So (drink) I settled for a highly rated Instapot which many reviews touted as the most comparable budget machine to the Vitamix. I couldn't wait for it to arrive (sadly, this is what my life has come to). And when it did, I put it right to the test.

All I can say is womp. It's a nice looking machine with about a million pre-programmed settings and the noise isn't nearly as grating as the Ninja. I wanted to love it. But it just couldn't handle the task. I imagine it's great for making regular smoothies and it makes soups too which is pretty cool. But it wasn't my blender. I had envisioned a summer of perfectly scoopable fruit blends disguised as desserts. I'd be the coolest mom doling a rainbow of flavors and colors, my kids gobbling up the healthy concoctions all the while thinking I had caved and let them go on a sugar binge. But it was not to be. (Drink) I went back to the Ninja but something had to be done. So I played the anniversary card. Wednesday celebrates 19 years of team Jill and James and guess what I'm getting? A Vitamix! Stay tuned for the full review. I hope it earns a slide show!

Once again, my apologies for the stale material. It's just that I'm living a real live groundhog day so unless someone cuts their own hair, I'm dealing with the same gripes on replay. And I just can't seem to let it all go.

Sorry. That GIF seemed necessary. End rant.

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