I would like to take this opportunity to thank my children for providing me with a plethora of material for Wednesdays. This week's winner...the hidden glass.
This is truly the epitome of lazy. Don't feel like taking my dishes to the sink so I'll just stick them in the couch console. Problem solved. Let me back track a bit because the way in which the discovery was made is worth several WTF moments alone.
The day kicked off with Kaleb complaining to me that the couch was no longer comfortable. "How is that possible?" I asked, "just like that? Overnight it lost its comfort?" "It's because there are so may crumbs on it." I damn near strangled him. "Well the vacuum is right there," I pointed (drink) to the Dustbuster, a very easy to maneuver device with which I'm sure you're all familiar. Even kids can use it! But they don't. The very proposition of vacuuming immediately changed his position on the comfort level of the couch and he sunk right into his ass prints left behind from last night.
Eleanor chose that moment to suggest a baking project. She pulled (drink) a muffin mix from the cabinet, determined for me to agree to her proposition. As I've mentioned before, baking with kids is right up there with watching them attempt to wrap a gift. Cringy. But dealing with the aftermath of saying no was even less appealing, so out came the muffin tins and the twins set to work deciding who would pour what ingredient into the mix. Then they fought over who would stir. Cynthia won, but Eleanor used the loss to negotiate the title of Crumble Girl (we were making Cinnamon Crumb Muffins and no, the irony of the word crumb in the title was not lost on me). I had to look away as Crumble Girl set to work, managing (drink) to get more crumbs on the floor than on the muffins.
Eventually we slid the tray into the oven and I shoo'd the kids out of the kitchen as I was chomping at the bit to vacuum not just the floor, but the chair, counter, and quite honestly, Eleanor herself. I had every intention of (drink) circling back with Kaleb to task him with vacuuming the couch, but I was on a role and figured I'd just do it myself while I was at it. I knew I was avoiding a parenting lesson, but I had already baked with the kids. I couldn't stomach watching a half-assed vacuum job.
I went to town on the couch, using the vacuum attachments to really get into the pocket of doom, the cup holders, and even the console. And THAT'S when I discovered the glass in the console. Really? REALLY? This is what we're doing now? Storing dishes in the couch? Why not just store bags of chips in there while we're at it? No need to get up! Let's really cement those ass prints in there!
When will this end? I implore you! (Drink) I see no end in sight. Seriously, there's absolutely no point in cleaning because the second I finish, there's a new disaster that was created as a result of my inattentiveness. It's a viscous cycle. Clean and turn my back for two seconds and my dishware is relocated to my couch or don't clean and watch their every move and NOTHING GETS DONE. I know, Mom, I'm sensing a comment on the horizon that this is minor in the grand scheme of things and kids will be kids blah blah blah. But it's maddening. Maddening I tell you!