Given the fact that several hundred times a day, I mutter or think WTF in response to a situation, I thought I'd dedicate a weekly tribute to one of these occurrences each week. Today, I bring you this:
WTF? Right? Why is there a half roll of toilet paper on the staircase? Perhaps a science experiment to determine the gravitational pull of toilet paper when pushed at a certain velocity at a 45 degree decline? A slinky-esque stair game? Or, perhaps part of their outlandish pretend-play? The (drink) latter seems the most likely scenario given their wild imaginations. But it's very hard for me to revert my own imagination back in time three dozen years to even fathom the capacity in which a half roll of toilet paper would be incorporated into the plot of their game.
Maybe the toilet paper is like their pet dog or something and they were on a walk when they lost interest or the story line took a different direction. His name would have been Scott. Because, toilet paper. Or, maybe (drink) they were playing house and the staircase was the toilet… unlikely but now I have a visual and will be forced to deep clean the staircase. Fantastic.
Wait! I’ve got it! Booby trap! That’s got to be it. The question is who attempted to booby trap who? I can rule out Abigail right off the cuff. Not her style. I also don’t think it’s the work of Paige. She can be vengeful but (drink) her plan would have been more calculated - the obstacle centered and camouflaged somehow.
That leaves the Three Stooges, all of which are (drink) believable suspects. On careful reflection of the morning, I can eliminate Eleanor. She had an alibi as she had locked herself in her room with her tablet, emerging only for the occasional snack. I have (drink) dated selfies to prove it.
So down to two. It all boils down to motive. I tried to pinpoint the latest squabble, but all the tiffs are a giant blur. Time to go to the source. Better yet, time to go a reliable source. Abigail.
Within moments I had my answer. Kaleb. Something about needing a paper towel. But the location of our paper towels necessitates a step stool for the littles. Rather than procure a step stool (which by the by is just across the room and easily wheels about without effort), he thought it would be prudent to go all the way upstairs to get a "paper towel" within reach. According to Abigail, (drink) she set him straight on the durability of toilet paper versus paper towels, and told him to put it back. I guess he interpreted "put it back" as simply getting it out of the kitchen, thereby walking it only halfway back to its appropriate home. I cross checked her story with Kaleb, but was met with a blank stare. I stared right back, willing him come forward with the truth. He didn't cave. He smirked, but didn't confess.
Whatever. I know the truth now and it wasn't as entertaining as my (drink) intuition led me to surmise. I much prefer the idea of Scott, the toilet paper dog, left teetering on the step, just inches from his imminent demise.
No matter what the reason, though, I am still left with the nagging question. WTF?